My Heart Broke

I was in line at Wal-Mart.  I was armed with my usual clipboard with my list and my trusty old calculator.  I was proud that I was going to be under budget for the second week.  The lady in front of me looked tired and ragged.  She had two small children pulling on her and crying.  It was obvious that it was nap time for both Mom and kids.  She was holding a calculator and a very long list.  I was proud to see the tools of the trade being used.

The check-out lady told her her amount.  She handed over a food stamp card.  And then a new balance was given.  ”27.09″ the check out lady asked from her.  Stammering, the lady said, “There’s been some mistake.”  ”No ma’am.  You only had $135 on your card and the remaining balance is $27.09.” matter-of-factly stated came from the bold checker.  Trying to quieten her crying children, she persisted, ” I should only have a $14.00 remaining balance.”  Frustrated because the line of people to check out had increased, the checker got a printed receipt and handed it over to the lady.  ”It says $27.09″ she grumbled.

Now three ladies down our line, a “oh come on! just pay the rest will ya!” floated angerily down to the tired mother and her children.  Nevertheless, she continued searching for the checker’s mistake.  She pointed out that she had been charged twice for a couple of items.  Correcting the mistake, another angry and impatient sigh was being made.  ”That’s why we have credit cards lady!” was shouted.  The mother had patience of a saint.  She never took her eyes off of the receipt as she tried to figure out why she was still $6 over.  By this time, a supervisor had been called over to assess the problem.  I kept smiling and holding back the anger towards the loud mouth that was being so thoughtless and uncaring.  I was ready to shoot back some comments but I held my tongue.  Finally, disenheartend, the mother of those restless children had to make a choice between the Powerade and the obviously much needed children’s undies that were in the “non-foodstamp” pile.  The powerade and some pizza rolls were sent back and then the lady was under $14.00.   She neatly unfolded a ten a couple of ones and then pulled out two rolls of pennies from her purse.  She knew exactly how much she had to spend.  By this time, the lady next to me had had it with the loud mouth and pretty much told her where to go, “Number 15 is open.”  Then she flashed her calculator and long list towards me.  I smiled.  ”We must stick together,” sounded off in my head.

My heart broke for the mother.  I have never had to be on foodstamps and it was obvious that she doesn’t abuse the system.  She was almost in tears a couple of times but she held her head up high and didn’t allow the impatience of others to wear her down.  May God give the mother of those two crying children peace of mind and bless her with some unexpected fundings.  I hope I get behind her again.  I would definately give her a hand up; like I should have in the first place.

A Woman’s Choice: To Change Her Mind

Growing up,  I heard and received flack about a woman changing her mind.  I have always believed in the power of choice.  Don’t get confused, I am not talking about pro-life.  I am talking about the liberating power of decisions.  It is amazing with the number of decisions I have to make in a single day’s time.  Everything from which shoes goes with my blouse to whether or not I am going to eat that chocolate candy bar.  And then when we change our minds we are teased.

I have been doing a lot of reading on the matter of changing your mind.  This isn’t necessarily about trival decisions.  It concerns lifestyles.  Whether it is about becoming a better person or finally taking a hold on your finances.  We have to change our minds in order to succeed.

Let me share an example.  I have struggled with my weight all my life.  I have known for a very long time that I have a food addiction.  Any little thing would set me off eating and choking down my feelings.  I have placed food on my  highest priority list.  I have always lived to eat.  Food had consume me… when it should be the other way around. Recently, I read a book on how diets fail.  I was half way  expecting to find  a way around a diet.  I would love to live the excuse of “diets don’t work so why should I waste my time.”  I guess I was looking for the justification not to diet. Boy, was I wrong.  What I found was that my diet history has always been a choice.  I could pray all day for deliverance from the bondage but if I didn’t act or behave or how about change my mind about food I was never going to succeed.  I guess it is all the matter of perspective.

And other books that I have been reading on “going green” or “incorporating the Sabboth into your routine” have said the same exact thing.  Change is good but your mind has to be the first to change its way of thinking before success could enter.

And it is so true…….  I can say all day long that I want to save the world, be green and a better person.  But until I have changed the perception I won’t succeed.

Do I really need to explain #10?

Life would be so much easier if we just did rule number 10.

10.  When angry, count to 10 before you speak, if really angry count a 100.

Speaks volumes!  Think about it!

Getting a Handle of Things with TJ: Rule #9

This next rule caused me to stop and to think about what TJ is telling us.   Honestly, I had no idea.  This led me to do some extra research.  Exhausted after reading a zillion commentaries and this is what I found…..

8.  Take things always by the smooth handle.

This little rule was stated by TJ in efforts to produce peace,  harmony, and consolation.  Apparently, wise old TJ did not like to argue.

To argue for or against a stand, a purpose or a point worth arguing over will eventually lead to someone being hurt.  Whether or not it is a physical hurt or an emotional hurt, someone always loses in an argument and feels defeated.  I mean let’s face it.  When we argue our point, the augment isn’t over until someone is “right.” Or at least someone feels as if the have gotten the last word in and therefore is deemed “right.”  Someone will lose causing a strain in a relationship.

Jesus teaches us to love and respect one another.  “Love one another as I have loved you.”  So why do we argue?  Why is it that we get our tail feathers ruffled?  God wants us to have loving relationships with one another so why do we seek to be right all the time?  Why don’t we just agree to disagree on matters.  Turn the other cheek, possibly? Have you ever argued with a smug “I know I’m right so I will let them argue their point then I will calmly nail them to the wall” person? I have and that is the worst kind of argument.  They sit there until I get so angry I ready to hit them…. then the smug…… OHHHHHH  See I’ve been hurt!  Ouch, should have listened to TJ’s advice.

When we argue, we lose sight of the Jesus kind of love.  We end up angry at others and sometimes ourselves.  Ultimately, losing a relationship or tainting one beyond the repair of trust because we don’t want to be burned again.

Wouldn’t it be easier just to listen long and to not open our opinionated mouths.  I have a long way to go on this rule.  See, I like to argue.  I am a freak in nature I guess.  I like to debate.  But I hate to lose friendships.  So if I lose a friendship, am I really winning an argument?  Ponder on that one.

So this year, I am going to stop arguing as much.  I will put my debating on the back burners and listen to the others without being smug and pouncing on them in the end.  I will turn the other cheek and will stop arguements before they get heated and someone ending up hurt.

TJ + Worry = Rule #8

How many times have I worried over the silliest things?  How many times have I worried over situations that didn’t seem to have any hope.  I have worried so much in the past that I am almost complete grey headed!  (More apparent now than ever since the hair coloring was put into the luxury-can-live-without category in our budget.)  Now that is something to worry about!

8.  How much pain the evils have cost us that never happened.

If you look up the definition for worry, you are going to be shocked with the answer you have found.  According to Dictionary.com worry is defined as “to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret.”  TORMENT ONESELF!!!!  That sounds horrible.  Yet, we do it.

How many times have I worried about…. I mean tormented myself over outcomes to situations.  Do you do this?  What if this happens…… What if I said this…….  What if I did this……  What if they do this……..  What if He says this……. I could go on forever!  I have spent hours in day dreams of tormenting scenarios.  What a waste!!

Now the Bible says clearly in Phil. 4:6 that we should not worry over anything.  We should however, give our worries over to God to handle.  I mean He is big enough to handle them, don’t you think?  I should pray for Him to take care of those thoughts (torments) as I roll around at night worrying instead of sleeping.  He can handle it.  He has already promised to take care of me as far as food and clothing and shelter….. do I really need anything more?

So, in 2009 let’s stop the worry! Just think of the health benefits, too.  Cast those evils unto God and enjoy life! Stop the waste!

TJ and Grandma Cannon: Rule #7

Looking back over the years with my Grandmother, I find such admiration for her life and the example she was for me.  In her younger days, I could picture her as the feisty, full of fun, young lady she was in the 30’s and 40’s.  By the time my brother and I were around, she was living up to the “coolest” grandma title.  Later in her life when her health and its toll on her emotional health was affecting her, we saw a change.

She repeatedly said to my mother and later to me after Mom’s death, “I’m such a bother” or “I know I am causing you so much trouble.”  Huh, perhaps, Mom and I should have quoted today’s rule:

7.  Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.

But I think TJ was hinting at something more that a child or grandchild caring for an aging parent.  I think TJ was referring to simple acts of kindness that are random and worth every moment doing.

Think about it.  Is it trouble for someone to hold open a door for someone? Is it a bother to look in on someone who needs tending to?  Is it troublesome to clear your schedule and just spend time with someone you love?  Not if we are willing to go that extra mile…….

I watched how my mother do exactly that.  She never resented going to her parents home and helping them out.  Whether it was to do laundry, cook supper, or to pay their bills, she never complained.  She simply loved doing it for them.  I saw it when she worked with her students.  She was patient and never grew tired of making a difference in a child’s life.  She never thought of  it as troublesome to go over the lesson one more time for little Johnny who was having trouble understanding.  With her friends, she always did little special things for them.  Leaving cookies and a sweet message on their desk.  Calling them every evening when they were sick.  She loved being a “secret pal.”  She lived up to the task at hand and never once complained.  And she never got tired to telling Grandma, “You are not a bother, mother.  I love you.”

So, be willing and do something nice today for someone who needs a pick-me-up.

Oh Thomas, Did You Have to Go There? Rule #6

Thomas!  Thomas!  Thomas!!!!!  Did you have to go there?  Rule number 6….. can I just say OUCH!!

6.  We seldom repent of having eaten too little.

Well, I guess I will have to loosen the belt on this one!!  Well guess what folks, Thomas has a point here.  Think back to Thanksgiving day…..  Were you sorry that you ate enough for a small army? Did your waistline in your “fat” jeans remind you that you ate too much?  How about the heartburn did you make you wish that you had stopped after thirds?

Oh, the Bible has a few things to say about overeating.  Gluttony is the term used.  Okay, I am going to shock you.  Go do www.dictionary.com and well look it up….. did you see the definition? excessive eating and drinking…..  Whoa wait a minute here!!  You mean the Bible says not to overeat?  I had to check it out myself.  I found my answer!!  OUCH!!! Check out Proverbs 23:20-21; Proverbs 28:7;Proverbs 23:2….. OUCH!!!

Okay I must admit I am an over-eater!  I am a glutton.  I hate to say it but my scale told me this just this morning.  My jeans tell me every morning.  And my mirror has been telling me for years and yet I blindly eat my heart out whenever I can.

God gave us this control thing.  No not your remote control…. but the ability to control our food intake.  Some of us chose or have developed an addiction that prohibits control, not to control the food intake.  It is as simple as this….. It is a SIN!!  Just like drug abuse. Just like adultery.  Just like murder.

So this new year is your year to take back the control and to enjoy God’s fruits, vegetables and of course apple pie with moderation.  Cut your portions in half.  Better start now before the economy of ours forces it upon you.  So, let’s do a little a little experiment shall we….. eat portions in moderation.  Cut your portions in half and stretch your meals. I bet you that you will see a difference in your food budget.

Okay, Mark and kids….. NO MORE SECONDS…. hold me to this now!!  Don’t allow me to talk myself into another spoonful.  NO MORE ENORMOUS MOUNDS OF FOOD ON MY PLATE!!  Let’s see if we can save the budget and our waistlines!!

TJ #5

5.  Pride costs more than hunger, thirst, and cold.

I have been really thinking and praying about this one.  Pride….. it is the ultimate downfall. Really it is….. the Bible even states it.  Proverbs 16:18-19 describes pride as the beginning of destruction and a haunting fall.  Pride will ultimately cost you everything.  Could it be that pride will hurt you worse than starving or freezing to death?  Could it be that Jefferson meant exactly what Proverbs 16: 18-19 describes?

So I asked a couple of high school students.  Today’s youth will surprise you.  I asked them “What did Jefferson mean when he said…..”  One quickly stated that pride will take everything away from you.  She went on to explain that it will consume you and haunt you.  Wow, how profound.  Kudos to her parents!!

Throughout time, we find ourselves daringly toying with pride.  It can give you a false sense of ego and it can even put you on a path of vast destruction.  Again, Proverbs 16 says it all.

In these hard times, hunger, thirst and cold will humble the best of us.  It is so hard to make ends meet and the threat of losing your job is even becoming a reality to many of us.  Just yesterday I overheard some ladies talking about losing their jobs.  One lady’s reply was “I just wanted to get drunk and not think about it.”  Another was concerned about getting the bills paid and wondering if there is going to be enough money to last the week.

My heart broke for them.  I wanted to scream as loud as possible that things are going to be alright.  My aunt recently was talking about her grandfather and the great depression.  She said that he commented that he never understood why some of the rich now dirt poor people were killing themselves.  He would chuckle and say, “the depression didn’t impact us.  There was no change in our status….. we were just dirt poor and happy to be alive.”

Losing your home, your lifestyle, your material possessions will take a hard toll on any sense of pride a man or woman or any family may have.  Perhaps we need to stop looking so inward and band together to support one another.  It isn’t going to kill anyone to accept help or a hand out.  Don’t allow pride and a false identity that is over during these economical trials to keep you from getting a full belly at the soup kitchen, or a warm night’s sleep in a shelter.   Don’t allow pride to destruct you further.  Praise God that those services are out there even if the conditions are worse than any run down motel.

If you are reading this and your financial situation is collapsing faster than you know what to do, I am praying for you.  I pray that you find another job or the assistance you need to get a leg up.  Even if it is to swallow your pride and move into your parent’s home.  You will get through it.  I pray you will.

Okay now if I have not depressed you enough, I want to talk to you out there that is feeling the crunch of the times but haven’t forclosed or lost everything.  Pride clouds your perception on material things.  There are those out there that take pride in knowing that their clothing came from the coveted designer’s line.  There are those who take pride in their lavish homesteads and automobiles.  Some of those are pridefully still making those purchases instead of changing their lifestyles to match their earnings or to match their losses.   Living outside of your means because you are too proud to wear second hand even if it is designer clothing, or taking the bus instead of driving the newest “beamer,” is pride before the destruction.  Taking a hard look at your means and living among it can cause such anxiety and pain to some Americans out there.  Don’t believe me?  There have been countless Oprah and Dr. Phil episodes talking about this.  When the destruction hits and the fall is inevitable,  is pride really going to save you?  your home? your car? Is pride going to keep you from being honest with your family and friends?  Is pride going to keep you from rethinking the spending? Is pride going to destroy you?

Take heed to TJ’s wise words, ” Pride costs more than hunger, thirst, and cold.”

A Blessing

Yesterday, I heard some terrible news.  My friend’s husband has been laid off.  Her job security is not stable, either.  My heart broke.  Then my uncle told me my aunt’s employer is laying off workers this week and she may be one of those unfortunate.  Scary times.

I heard that “THEY” are determining this “recession” to be as devastating if not more as the Great Depression.  It is my prayer that it isn’t.  After, hearing the news of the lay offs and the terms of this recession, I began to feel down and blue.  All those people without jobs, without the security, and living with despair.   Just the thought made me sad.

Then, a phone call came.  It was God’s way of saying, “It is well.”  See, my dearest friend called me to share some miraculous news.  She is with child….. no children.  God had answered her prayers (and mine) for the past several years.  She is being blessed with twins.  My heart leaped with joy and I wept.  God is so good.

No matter the circumstances surrounding you, know and rest assure that God loves you.  Look to His reassurance in the blessings He sends each and every day.  It is my prayer for all of those who feel hopeless and helpless in these economical times that God will bless you with His comfort and know that tomorrow will be a brighter day with Him.

Keeping the Sabbath

I was asked a question a few Sundays ago in Sunday School about keeping the Sabbath and what it means.  I have done some research and would like to share what I have learned.  Check out the Sabbath pages over on the right!! Enjoy!!

Saying Goodbye to 2008

Oh my!!  It is almost Christmas Eve.  Mark and I have finally put the finishing touches on the homemade gifts.  We have been wrapping and enjoying our youngest jump for joy as Christmas day slowly creeps up.  There are many mixed feelings as the year closes.  Some are exhilarating and others  are heartbreaking.  So many lasting memories have been made in 2008; yet 2009 looks as equally blessed.

In the spring, my family and I feeling the crunch of today’s economical times, spent a weekend camping in our own backyard.  We built a fire, set up camp, and told family “camping” stories of the years gone by.  Watching the kids enjoy a huge bonfire (thanks to Mark), roasting marshmallows and laughing until our sides hurt, melted our “money” worries away.  We learned that a vacation isn’t where you go but how you spend the time with one another.

One of the biggest challenges we faced this year was me quitting my job.  At first, leaving just about killed me.  It wasn’t what I wanted; yet, in a strange way, it was a blessing that I never saw coming.  Between the depression caused by the endlessness of the job, the burn out that many children’s ministers endeavor, and the constant catch 22  guilt associated whenever I chose to spend time with my family or the time I chose to be away from them, it was a wonder I didn’t completely lose my sanity (although there are those who are going to be wondering).  And you know what, I would do it all over again to see those shining young faces saying yes to Jesus.  That is the part I miss the most.  I miss kneeling with the children and praying.  I miss the countless cheers and games we played to learn about Jesus.  I miss the moments when they would ask me to tell the more about a Bible story or about how Jesus loves them so!  I miss the dancing and singing of our praise.  I miss it.  I do.

Once I left I began to fear the worst. I didn’t have an identity anymore.  I had always had a title.  I was an interpreter, a teacher, a children’s minister and now I was becoming a “Home Economics Specialist” complete with daily chores!  At first, of course, I was thrilled to stay at home but my heart wanted more than scrubbing toilets.  I continued to pray asking God for my purpose.  I know I was born to do more than to be an associate to Mr. Clean.  I needed a purpose from God.  Then He spoke, “Speak and Motivate.”  Confused as to what exactly He meant, I continued to pray.  I was beginning to feel discouraged and a little impatient so I pumped up the praying efforts and one morning while walking God thumped me on the head with some really big news.  He gave me the titles of   Mother, Wife, Friend, Speaker, Motivator, and most of all “His Precious Child.”

In 2008, I have had to learn how to diligently be in tuned with our bank account.  I visit our Internet banking so often that I could be labeled obsessed.  We have squeezed our budget dry many months and yet we are still afloat.  We are learning what it means to be content, bargain hunters, and amateur economists.  Our children are learning about what it means to live with what we have and not to covet.  Our children are doing great without all of the “extras” in life like baseball, basketball, soccer, piano lessons, shopping trips to buy “new” stuff and I can go on and on….. I think you get the point.  We have learned to live with $3.24 in the bank for two weeks and stretch our meals to last until daddy gets paid.  Trust me I am not complaining, I am astonished at our success!!  Did you know that you can add Ketchup and BBQ sauce to the “mystery” food in the back of the freezer to make a cheap and easy gourmet meal that lasts for two days ?  The family of 7 out in Arizona who claims to be the cheapest family in America have nothing on the Dettra family of 4 in Sardis! I would love to display that trophy in the living room!  I am very proud of my family who are all sacrificing so that I can stay home. Our love and laughter is stronger than ever since I left the workforce.  I may miss the perks but I love my family and what we are doing together. Go Team Dettra!!

One of the hardest things I did this year was saying goodbye to my Granny.  She was the last remaining member of a generation in my family.  She was such a special and strong lady. I spent as much time with her as I could (remember the catch 22?) and I always called her when I pulled out of the drive on my weekly errand to Wal-Mart.  I don’t know how many times I have wanted to call her and I can’t bare the thought of deleting her number from my cell.  She was a blessing and I miss her greatly. Christmas is going to be hard this year!

Oh the blessings that were showered upon us! My son gave his life to Christ. My daughter entered middle school and I am surviving!  Mark and I are still newlyweds after being together 13 years! As we close 2008, we may look back on the memories, the heartaches, and headaches but we know that in order to grow we must leave the past in the past and face forward.  2008 is only a chapter in our lives and it is ending quickly.  So let’s say our goodbyes for the next few days and then look to 2009.

We have a bright future ahead of us!  Come on 2009!  We eagerly await your blessings!!

Thomas Jefferson in 2009

For the new year, I want to put a challenge out there to my readers.  Instead of the yearly resolutions that most of us do not follow, I want to challenge you to use Jefferson’s 10 Rules as guidelines to live by (along with your Bible, of course) in 2009. These 10 simple rules were written by Thomas Jefferson many moons ago and yet I think they are very noteworthy for a fresh new perspective for the upcoming new year.

Jefferson’s 10 Rules

1. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

2. Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.

3.  Never spend your money before you have earned it.

4.  Never buy what you don’t want because it is cheap.

5.  Pride cost more than hunger, thirst and cold.

6.  We seldom repent of having eaten too little.

7.  Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.

8. How much pain the evils have cost us that have never happened.

9. Take things always by the smooth handle.

10.  When angry, count to 10 before you speak, if very angry,count to 100.

So what do you think?  Pretty cool, huh? Kinda makes you go “Whoa!  Dude!! T.J. knows what he was talking about!”

Thomas Jefferson’s 1st Rule

Thomas Jefferson (TJ for short) as most American’s know had it going on during his day.  TJ was definitely an ingenious and wise man.  In my previous post, I laid out the 10 rules that TJ lived by.  Today, I want to take a closer look at rule number 1!

1. Never put off until tomorrow, what you can do today.

Is anyone else on the web feeling a little uncomfortable right now?  I don’t know about you but I have the tendency to “put off” things here and there.  I think it is a part of being human.  We always take for granted that tomorrow will come.  Somehow we get this crazy notion that if we “put it off” that “it” will magically disappear or better do it by itself by the next morning.  Wouldn’t that be fun…… get a bill coming due……tomorrow it pays itself and I am not worried.  Yeah, right!!

“Putting off” leads to laziness.  Something I battle along side of my depression.  Sometimes, I just don’t have the energy physically or emotionally to do something.  Now, go get your Bible.  That’s right! You heard me!! Go get it.  I can wait if you need to dust it off some.  Don’t be ashamed.  It happens to the best of us.  Stop “putting it off” and go get your Bible.  Now turn to Ecclesiastes 9:10…….  I can wait.

Read it.

Don’t put it off.  Read it.

What do think of that verse?  Do you see God’s point?

Thomas Jefferson’s 2nd Rule

Okay, now that you have learned that in Ecclesiastes 9:10, we should not have idle hands and that we must do God’s work; let’s take a look at Thomas Jefferson’s 2nd rule:

2.  Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.

Okay, this one is a tough one.  Outside of not asking my kids to retreive something from the other room for me, I am struggling to comprehend what TJ meant by this.  I am sure he had plenty of hired hands.  We know he was a slave owner.  So what did he mean?  Is it that we shouldn’t “Pass the Buck?”  Does it mean that if something we are doing gets tough not to bother others for help?  Does it mean we should stick it out until it is impossible to do then seek the help?  Think about it and let me know what you think.  I would love the discussion.

Thomas Jefferson’s 3rd Rule

Oh dear, this next rule is going to hit home to many people today.  I’m going to get it out there so I can throw my 2 cents in……

3.  Never spend your money before you have earned it.

I know it may seem so UnAmerican to not use credit cards but HELLO this is a statement from one of our founding fathers!  TJ is probably rolling in his grave right now.

It is a bad habit that a lot of us have been struggling with for a few decades now.  We have become so impatient that we have come inflicted with “Gotta Have It Now” syndrome.  I can remember saving up for what I wanted.  I remember finding jobs around the neighborhood or babysitting neighborhood kids so that I could purchase the “designer” jeans I wanted so badly.  Many people today just plop down the ole credit card and get those jeans.  What has happened to the feeling of achievement when you have worked hard and saved to get something?

I recently had to call the bank about an overdraft issue.  In the debate, I was upset that when I made a deposit two days prior it did not show up to cover a debit made from the previous day.  Word to the wise, the bank will cause you to overdraft if it benefits them with their $35 overdraft fee.  Can you tell I lost the debate?  My point to this is that during the conversation, the bank manager was quick to argue that it wasn’t his fault that I had spent more money than I had.  My point was I had the money and it wasn’t acknowledged by the bank.  Anyway, it sounded like he had made that statement so many times that it easily flowed from his tongue.  I was being lumped into the “financially irresponsible” category and in his eyes: end of story.  Once he looked at my account and saw that I didn’t exactly deserve the label of irresponsible, the conversation quickly turned into my favor by acknowledging my point yet his hands were tied the corporate business of matters.

It is  a simple concept:  Don’t spend if you don’t have it.  Trust me, it can be very hard. I know when we were down to $3.24 and pay day was two more weeks away, putting food on the table became a concern. I could have easily used my credit card to purchase food but I was determined not to take the easy way out.  I was going to have to be creative from the pantry.  I was going to have to stretch the gas tank to get to where I needed (noticed I said needed not wanted!).  I was going to have to get the family on board.  We sat the kids down and explained what was happening and how we all can help.  Our son  gave up boy scouts to save one trip to town.   Our daughter postponed a $15 part for her trombone until after the holidays.  We agreed to eat the mystery food in the back of the freezer until we had the money.

We did it.  We were successful.  It taught us something though.  As a family we pulled together and we worked together to see that everything stretched.  We learned that we didn’t need to run to the store the minute we were low on supplies.  We learned to stretch.  If it meant passing on seconds at dinner so we could eat it again the next night, we discovered it didn’t kill us.

So all of you out there,  I put a challenge out for the new year…… wait before you spend.   Wait.  Learn to say no.  Learn that you can find freedom in waiting. Good luck!  I know you can do it.

Thomas Jefferson’s 4th Rule

“Oh, look at that!  That is so cool!  Don’t know exactly what it does, but look it is a dime!”  So you walk out of the store with 10 of those things.  Did you really need it?  Was it going to make a difference in your life?  Did you just buy it because you could get 10 for a buck?  Chances are it was because it was so cheap.

Let’s take a look at TJ’s 4th rule:

4.  Never buy what you don’t want because it is cheap.

How many times I have gone shopping and found a bargain!  The object may have caught my eye but I knew deep down I didn’t want it…. UNTIL…. I saw the price.  If it was dirt cheap, I immediately needed it. I have fallen prey to the idea that something cheap makes it a better choice.  But, in the long run, that thing will only take up space in my home and eventually will make its way to the trash.

I think today’s way of thinking has cluttered our lives.  We need to get back to the idea of what we need vs. what we want.

Funny, I remember my dad saying that there is a big difference between a want and a need.  Yeah, I may want those new pair of shoes but do I need them?  That is what we need to distinguish. It is my opinion that we today have a strange way of deciding what is a need and a want.  We know the basics:  we need food, water, and shelter.  Those we got but we over extend our need rule.

This is what I mean, we make daily choices.  For example, this past weekend, we were out shopping as a family.  My son immediately wanted a drink.  In his mind, he wanted a soda.  Did he need it?  No, he needed a drink.  My husband told him that there was a water fountain the in store and he can get a drink there.  Oh my heavens, he thought we were the meanest parents in the world.  He thought if he was thirsty we would automatically purchase the coveted soda drink.  His body prefers the water over soda anyway. His need was met at the water fountain and it did not kill him.  We have distorted the idea of a need vs. want.  He wanted a soda.  He needed water.

Just the other day on the Today Show, a lady was seeking help at the grocery store.  She needed help stretching her dollar and needed to lose extra weight.  She was told to go shopping as usual.  She did.  She had soda (name brand), chips (name brand), cereal (name brand), and packaged meals (name brand).  The “expert” pointed her to the store brand of everything.  The whole time I was screaming at the television.  Her family doesn’t need soda.  Water is free.  Tea and Kool-aide (store brand of course), is cheap and goes further than a bottled soda.  Chips?  What are those?  We only have them for “special” occasions.  The kids don’t need them.  They need veggies and fruits.  Cereal?  How about oatmeal?  Or making pancakes?  Learn to use a crock pot and save money on “packaged meals.”  This was classic need vs. want.  She loaded herself down with wants not needs.  Even at knock down prices, did the family “need” soda and chips?

So, here’s my challenge:  Rediscover and distinguish or perhaps redefine is a better word, your idea of needs and wants.  In the long run, if you learn to purchase the needs (at markdown prices), you will save money and will spend wisely.  You may want something because of it’s price but ask yourself:  Am I a better person if I purchase this?  If your answer is no, put it down and walk away….. now you are the better person.

Time Flies!!

Oh my!  Time sure does fly!!  It has been, like, months since I last posted an entry.   I have been so busy that I haven’t been able to think straight!!

Isn’t it funny.  Here I thought I would become a housewife and have all the time in the world.  For what???  I didn’t care.   I thought I could reclaim my time!  I feel even busier now than when I did work full time.

Everyday, I pray for time.  Time to spend with my darling husband.  Time to spend with my beautiful children.  Time to bake cookies.  Time to share with a sick friend.  Time to work in my garden.  Time….. Time….. Time…..

You know what, God hasn’t added any more hours to my day!!  I guess it is up to me to figure out how to manage the 24 hours He has given me.